I Might be a Submissive?

One might remember that I was exploring the Sugarbaby option…that seems to have gone down the toilet. BUT since starting this blog and visiting many others, I have become knee-deep in researching BDSM. And, although I am a Type-A control freak, I identify with submission. You might just have noticed the progression of this blog towards a BDSM slant.

a lessonHaving joined CollarMe.com and FetLife.com, I have become obsessed with finding some-one to explore this new world (in a sexual way, not as a total lifestyle change). This phenomenon is known as Sub-Frenzy: a very strong, sometimes overwhelming, desire to find a Dominant partner. Sometimes seen in people who identify strongly as submissive, particularly those who have either newly discovered their submissive side or who have not partaken in BDSM-related activities for a long time.

Realising this doesn’t make it any easier. I am horny all the time after exchanging fantasies with prospective partners online. I am spending all my spare time cleaning my toys after playing with them. I feel like I am out of control! I want it! I need it! I have to have it!

But it’s all okay, right, because it’s just Sub-Frenzy?

Not really! This morning, I woke up at 6.30am – I don’t wake up at that time EVER! I had no need to be up at that time, and no outside source had woken me up. I had woken myself up with my horniness – could I have been having the female equivalent of a wet dream? Is there a female equivalent? I lay there, not touching myself but, as thoughts of being spanked, having my nipples pinched, being anally assaulted; and, just being fucked and used, swam through my head, my body convulsed with need.

I actually did end up playing with myself for a short while but I was exhausted (like I said I don’t wake up at that time!) So, after a lot of tossing and turning, I fell asleep 2 hours later for another 3 hours.

Needless to say, I am still horny!


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