The Most Amazing Vaginas

I found this on Prince Charming Isn’t Here:

So strange. So mysterious. So essential a component of the female anatomy. Sure, you may have a vagina. Or maybe you’re just curious about vaginas. Vaginas are like snowflakes. No two vaginas are alike. Of course, some vaginas are more exceptional than others…

The Chick with Two Vaginas

I think there’s actually more than one chick with two vaginas out there. Lauren Williams is one of them. She has bicornuate uterus, which means she has two vaginas, two cervixes, and two uteruses. I don’t know what I would do with the extra vagina. Rent it out?

The Lady with the Reading Material in Her Hoo-Ha

In 1975, performance artist Carolee Schneeman stood on a table, covered herself in mud, and extracted a scroll from her vagina. Then, she read it. The paper evidence from Interior Scroll is now displayed as a work of art. And what has your vagina done lately?

The World’s Biggest gang bang :

In 1999, adult film star Houston had sex with a purported 620 men in one day, resulting in “The World’s Biggest Gang Bang 3.” In reality, there were about 125 dudes there. Still, nothing to sneeze at.  (wow ouch! wow oh yeah!)

Her Vagina Can Bench-Press More Than Your Vagina

Tatiata Kozhevnikova has the world’s strongest vagina. She can lift 31 lbs. with hers. She’s even listed in Guinness World Records. And has special vagina barbells.

(OMG! WTF! How is that possible? Kegel’s? Perhaps?)

Amy Watson can play the kazoo with her vagina. I used to play the trumpet with mine, but I quit. That’s how it goes sometimes.

The Girl Who Had No Vagina

Susan” was born without a vagina. As it turns out, one in 4,000 women are born with congenital absence of the vagina. How’s that work? “Externally, the genital area is perfectly normal, with clitoris, labia, and urethra all in place. But where the vagina should be there is only a small dimple or indentation.” Some opt for surgery. Susan “succeeded in creating her own vagina through the dilatation, or pressure technique.” I am speechless.

Sadly, vagina dentata is but a myth. The idea that a woman would have a toothed-cooter is a fantasy born out of male castration anxiety, supposedly. That doesn’t mean Hollywood can’t go to town with it. In “Teeth,” teenager Dawn O’Keefe terrorizes men with her biting genitals. Who knew vaginas could be so scary?

(My favorite part is when the Dr asks “what do you have in there!” priceless!”)

In America, women undergo plastic surgery to have their labia trimmed. (Read one woman’s testimony: “I Had Labiaplasty Surgery.”) In Rwanda, women engage in labia stretching. In their culture, elongated labia are considered an asset and is perceived to result in better sex for both partners. The World Health Organization considers the practice female genital mutilation. Others see it as part of a long-standing tradition.

( I’ve seen before and after pictures of labiaplasty and I was cupping myself in horror. Oh the vagina! why the hell would anyone do that?)

She Had a Giant Among Vaginas

Anna Swan is reported to have had the biggest vagina ever in recorded history. The Scot was 7’5-1/2”, her husband was 7’11”, and she delivered the biggest newborn ever recorded: his head was 19” around. (Do the math.)

(Ahh! If it could, my vagina would scream out in horror! The cervix dilates at 10 centimeters. the baby was 19 inches! Noooo!)

 

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