National Masturbation Month – Not Just for Wankers

Will you be actively celebrating National Masturbation Month? 
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Cyndi Darnell has over 20 years experience studying and understanding sex and sexuality. In addition to formal qualifications in Clinical Sexology, Counselling and adult Education, she also brings knowledge of contemporary Tantra and Sexological Bodywork. Cyndi is uniquely placed to embrace, understand and challenge the diversity of human sexuality; and, of course, tell us all about masturbation.

Masturbation: It’s not just for wankers!

Masturbation: It's not just for wankers!

Masturbation. I am assuming that on a site like this, most of you are already pretty familiar with it, and are also fairly OK with sex being an important part of your life.

But masturbation is a really important part of our sexuality. Practicing masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. Who woulda thunk it?

Any of you that are familiar with my work know that I am a great advocate of deep, focussed sensual sex as a pathway to heightened orgasms, deeper connections and and more powerful erotic experiences that leave you longing for more, more, MORE! Here are a few tips to spice up your masturbation to improve your technique and bring more BANG to your bedroom escapades!

1. Practice slowing your masturbation down Why? You get to focus on different parts of your genitals or nipples. For example, if you are accustomed to quick wanking or using a vibrator to get off, practice using a slower technique and notice which parts of your genitals and nipples are more sensitive than others.

2. Penises. Instead of just jerking off to orgasm, try stimulating one part of your cock at a time.  A lot of  folks find the frenulum (this is the yummy little triangle in the underside of your penis where it joins the foreskin  – where it is or was) is really a delicious spot to touch with the pad of your forefinger. Using lube, make little circles on this area  and experiment with pressure and speed.

2a. Practice extending your orgasm by getting yourself turned on, but just before you feel you are about to come, take your hands away and shift your breathing to your nose only. This helps you control your ejaculation giving you more choice about how you come and when. Practicing this regularly is a great way to train yourself to last longer during partnered sex.

3. Labia. Take the time to get to know your labia. Both inner and outer. If you haven’t had a good look at yours, may May the month to get out a mirror and have a look around. Using lube really explore the areas you mightn’t usually, like the area between the labia and the forchette, the area where the lips meet at  their lowest point, above the anus. How long does it take for your pussy to start to swell?  Take selfies of your pussy before, during and after arousal – to see how much it varies during these stages of arousal.

3a. Rock around the Clit Clock. (I learnt this one from my pal Barbara Carrellas) Imagine your clit is a clock face  Spend 2 minutes making tiny circles with your finger on each point of the clock face.Use lube but not too much – it desensitises. Which o’clocks feel best to you? A lot of us find the area between 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock the most divine.

4. Instead of racing to orgasm, see how much stimulation you can take and how long it takes you to get to maximum wetness, hardness and arousal. For a lot of us it can be a while. You might surprise yourself at just how much pleasure you can have. After all, why scoff down a delicious meal. Learn to savour each nibble as if it were your last!

All this masturbation and attention to detail gives you more knowledge of your body and how it works and what it loves. The more you know the more you can share with others.

This article has been re-blogged from Adult Match Maker

To celebrate National Masturbation Month, Taboo Radio (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) are giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

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25 (Weird & Wonderful) Facts about Masturbation

Masturbation Month gives us the perfect opportunity to share some serious, strange and even funny trivia facts about masturbation.

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Feel free to add more in the comments below.

  1. The most damaging myth about masturbation is that it’s a sign something is wrong in your relationship. The fact is that most people masturbate. They masturbate if they’re single, in a bad relationship, or in a great relationship. It has nothing to do with their partners or the quality of their sex life.
  2. People who masturbate report to have happier marriages (and lives!) than those who refuse to twirl the pearl.
  3. People who have sex regularly masturbate more often than those who don’t. And married people are more likely to masturbate than people living alone. [National Health & Social Life Survey]
  4. Can you masturbate too much? The American Psychiatric Association says that unless masturbation is getting in the way of your everyday life (work, friendships, footy) there’s no such thing as too much self love!
  5. Adult Match Maker’s Under the Covers Sex Survey found that 20% of women admitted to masturbating daily and 45% weekly. [Adult Match Maker “Under the Covers” Survey 2014]
  6. Both men and women are more likely to experience their first orgasm through masturbation.
  7. The Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu sex manual from 400 BC, included masturbation techniques.
  8. Orgasms from masturbation can strengthen your immune system and for guys it’s thought masturbation can help prevent prostate cancer. So, keep your hand in, it’s good for your health!
  9. There are absolutely no health risks associated with masturbation (besides a little chafing).
  10. Masturbation has proven health benefits like stress management, secretion of endorphins & cardiovascular exercise.
  11. Watching their partner masturbate can be an amazing turn on for most guys.
  12. A study found that 40% of women prefer masturbation over actual sex.
  13. Over 75% of women surveyed in Adult Match Maker’s Under the Covers Sex Survey said that they orgasm faster when they masturbate. [Adult Match Maker “Under the Covers” Survey 2014]
  14. Legend tells us it was the seductress Cleopatra who invented the first vibrator. Rather than being carved from wood or rock, it was a gourd hollowed out and filled with … wait for it … angry bees. There is even record of Julius Caesar giving Cleo an elaborately carved, gold inlaid penis “sculpture.” Don’t worry she had plenty of lube, in 350 BC people were using olive oil!
  15. A study found that 35% of respondents in a relationship still masturbate weekly compared to 60% who are single. [Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey]
  16. Masturbation isn’t only about sex, for many it’s a routine way of relieving stress, clearing your head before work or going to sleep.
  17. The electric home vibrator was on the market 9 years before the electric vacuum cleaner and 10 years before the electric iron! At least they had their priorities right!
  18. The Japanese term for female masturbation is “shiko shiko manzuri” which translates to “ten thousands rubs”.
  19. Contrary to myth (or perhaps wishful thinking) the penis is not lengthened by masturbation.
  20. One of the first vibrators was a steam-powered device called the “Manipulator”. Obviously not named by a man!
  21. Ancient Egyptians believed their God Amun masturbated and his seed created civilization.
  22. Human aren’t the only ones to itch the ditch – monkeys, walruses and deer have all been documented pleasuring themselves. Scientists have even observed female apes using sticks for added pleasure.
  23. All orgasms are not created equally. It’s a little known fact that the makeup of semen is different when you masturbate to when you have sex.
  24. Masturbating at night can help you sleep by lowering blood pressure and easing stress and tension. So if you’re having trouble sleeping, put those fingers to work!
  25. Based on the findings of our survey, 19,840 Aussies rubbed one out in the time it took you to read this article! [Adult Match Maker “Under the Covers” Survey 2014]

The only problem with masturbation is there’s no one to cuddle with afterwards!

This article has been re-blogged from Adult Match Maker

To celebrate National Masturbation Month, Taboo Radio (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) are giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

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Under the Covers

Sydney sexologist Dr Michelle Mars believes we need to be more light-hearted and pleasure focused in our sexual thinking. We LOVE that!

Fap vs Fiddle

May is Masturbation Month. We’ve done research to help us understand what it’s all about. Over 7,600 people took part in our Under the Covers Sex Survey so that gives us some great data to find out where do we do it? who do we do it with? and what are the major differences between masturbation for men and women?

We instinctively know some of the answers to these questions, men do it more frequently (see below) and women use vibrators (80% compared with 20% of men) but let’s have a deeper look at some of our habits and desires when it comes to sex with ourselves.

Masturbation frequency

What are those statistics telling us? In general women are less likely to masturbate than men but they are more likely to masturbate once a week than men. Why?

Personally I don’t think it has anything to do with desire I think it’s about where we are comfortable masturbating, or even the fact that most women use a vibrator and even the little ones are noisy.

Our statistics show no significant differences when it comes to masturbating in private; with a partner (women 79%, men 76%), a friend (women 34%, men 27%) or with someone on the internet (women 49%, men 47%) . But when things become a little less private it seems men are more adventurous than women with 38% of men saying they masturbate at work compared to only 25% of women.

Masturbation frequency

I think men are more likely to take the risk that others might know they popped out for a quick wank because men’s sexuality is more socially acceptable than women’s, made so through myths that men have higher sex drives and irresistible needs. Women on the other hand historically have occupied the moral high ground when it comes to sex. We’re supposed to be more in control of our urges and in the past if we strayed from the path and heaven forbid got pregnant we became fallen women, socially marginalised and financially compromised. Today we know this is no longer the case but the myth prevails.

So girls and boys what are we going to do to make sure that women get to catch up on the masturbations stats. I’d suggest some me time, some do not disturb I am having a wank time, it’s definitely time women came out of the closet. A quick flick of the bean is revitalising, lifts your spirits and puts a smile on your face. Yay for May, let’s celebrate!

This article has been re-blogged from Adult Match Maker

To celebrate National Masturbation Month, Taboo Radio (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) are giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

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Make Time for Yourself

As if anyone needed an excuse, May is National Masturbation Month. Make sure to keep some time for yourself!


Masturbation is the foundation for human sexuality, for both men and women, but only a few of us admit doing it or even discuss it because it’s considered a taboo subject. This is a real pity because masturbation may:

  1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
  2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
  3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
  4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
  5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
  6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
  7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
  8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
  9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it’s the safest kind of sex.
  10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
  11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.

Possible health benefits for women:

  1. Combats pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with the menstrual cycle, such as cramps.
  2. Relieves painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region; which will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
  3. Builds resistance to yeast infections.
  4. Allows women to explore and understand their bodies better, so they will know what they like when they have sex with a partner.

Possible health benefits for men:

  1. May help combat premature ejaculation by training to last longer; it’s easier to practise control when on your own.
  2. Regular flushing of the system keeps semen healthy.
  3. Frequent masturbation helps in preventing the development of prostate cancer. Cancer-causing chemicals can build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

COUPLEAlmost everyone self-pleasures, but for men it’s easier because their genitals are visible from an early age. Young men can use masturbation as a way to learn how to control their ejaculations.

Today there are still girls and women who have never seen their genitals and are not always aware the clitoris needs direct stimulation to achieve an orgasm. I keep telling my clients that masturbation is a great way to explore and learn about their bodies. When you know your likes and sexual responses, you can show your partner how to give you an orgasm.

There are also some interesting misunderstandings. Some people believe that when you are in a relationship you don’t need to masturbate anymore – others see it as cheating, but nothing is further from the truth.

Given the negative messages children often receive about touching themselves while growing up; it’s understandable they may retain elements of shame and embarrassment which can affect their sexuality for the rest of their lives.

Since the sexual revolution in the mid-1970s attitudes to masturbation have changed, but the stigma is still persistent. Just Google the word and one of the first results it returns is “masturbation is a sin”.

In 1992 Seinfeld aired the controversial episode The Contest. George had been caught “in the act” by his mother, and his friends Jerry, Elaine and Kramer discuss the incident over lunch.  They decide to have a contest about who can last the longest without – as George puts it – “you know”! The word masturbation was not mentioned at all, but the episode was one of the most popular ever.

Things have changed slowly, but these days society is very comfortable with women’s bodies being sexualised, but not with women being shown to be sexual.

In Delhi, young women were interviewed about their attitudes to masturbation. Finding the women wasn’t easy as many were too shy and considered it taboo. But the women who did were very open-minded and spoke freely about the topic.

The concept behind this video was to persuade the public to change their attitudes about masturbation, which is not considered a sin in Indian culture and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. In any case, India is the country where the Kama Sutra originated, the most ancient book on the pleasures of sensual living.

To celebrate National Masturbation Month, I (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) am giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

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It’s National Masturbation Month!


manual mayHow are you Celebrating Masturbation Month?

So maybe every month is Masturbation Month for some of us – but May is the time to absolutely celebrate the act.

Though it is now an international holiday and well celebrated here in Australia, Masturbation Month originally took off in America.

Imagine that it’s 1994, and your country is a little neurotic when it comes to its own solo-playing tendencies. So uptight that its own surgeon general, Dr. Joycelyn Elders, gets fired by President Clinton for suggesting that masturbation be mentioned in sex-ed classes.

As it so happened, a sensible sex toy shop in San Francisco was paying attention, and they didn’t like what they were seeing. So in May 1995, Good Vibrations declared the inaugural National Masturbation Month as a way to promote sex positivity, sexual health, and self-love.

“We were astounded,” say the folks at Good Vibrations on their website. “It was one of the most sensible things we’d ever heard a government official say – and it cost Elders her job! We started National Masturbation Month – now International Masturbation Month with people celebrating across the globe! – to raise awareness and to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: It’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s free, it’s pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses.”

COUPLEStimulation celebrations

Since its inception, Masturbation Month has proven to be a rather satisfying endeavour. Good Vibrations and its cohorts have been using the occasion as a way to promote masturbation as a means to better and safer sex.

In 1999, the Masturbate-a-Thon wanked itself into being: a literal fapping-for-charity event. Participants would self-pleasure to raise money for women’s health and HIV charities, as well as to take a whack at all the existing shame and cultural baggage surrounding masturbation. Special recognition has often gone to those who could either raise the most money or, ahem, perform exceptionally well.

This is precisely where the phrase “Come for a Cause” originated, and it quickly spread to other sex-positive toy shops around the world. London held the first “Wank-a-Thon” in Europe in 2006, and Montreal joined the party in 2013.

Clearly this had farther-reaching effects than encouraging highly publicised bouts of exhibitionism. In 2009, the UK joined other European governments in promoting daily masturbation among teenagers as a means to reduce STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Though most Masturbate-a-Thons involved private acts of self-love, Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen recalls a few especially colourful moments from the public events. Of particular note, she told Salon, was one man who jerked off for nine hours and 58 minutes.

“Oh, and the friend of a friend who brought his violin along and played lovely music for the masturbators, sans pants,” she told the news source. “Classical music just gives masturbation so much more gravitas! We had opera singers one time, too.”

How to observe the holiday

Aside from masturbating with a renewed sense of political and social purpose, what are some other ways we can do justice to this month of self love and self exploration?

Taboo Radio (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) are giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

Enter Here

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We will also be posting (probably, too much) information about bashing the candle, bleeding the weasel, bleedin’ the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin’ the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin’ the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker and yanking the crank, all month.

How will you celebrate Masturbation Month?





Last week, I caught myself from saying ‘you’re throwing like a girl’ to my 5 year old nephew. It felt wrong to even contemplate saying it (although he does throw like what has previously and commonly referred as such).

Our beliefs about male and female relationships are learned, and can be passed onto the next generation.

Playing with my nephew allowed me a moment of honest self-reflection. It is these seemingly harmless phrases we say in front of young people that can be interpreted in ways we don’t intend.

The week before, I had posted this meme:

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I thought nothing of it. When I was a kid (I suppose I was under 10 at the time), we played kiss chase-y: both boys and girls hit each other when they liked some-one (as well as planting a kiss on that person). There was nothing in my mind that linked this meme to any kind of sexism or abuse. I meant it to be very tongue-in-cheek and sassy. I considered the audience for whom it was published. I never thought that it would be taken any other way.

I was wrong.

I can see why some people were upset; and, you should speak up when someone says or does something that excuses disrespect towards women.

Taboo Radio likes to take the piss out of themselves, sex and kink. We try not to take anything too seriously –Yes, sometimes it may be offensive (so scroll on); but we presume that our audience is on the same wavelength.

Taboo Radio wants you to keep commenting (good or bad) on the things we post. In this case, it’s really given me something to reflect upon. After all, as one woman points out in one of the videos, “I am a girl and that is not something that I should be ashamed of.”

Body Worship

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 The following article, written by Sam on Whips, Chains & Duct Tape, gives you a very useful run-down. Taboo Radio also did a show about Body Worship last year, if you’d like to know more.

What is Cock Worship?

Quite simply it is a way more then just a blow job. It is NOT about getting a Dom’s cock hard, or even making the cock release…(but is very much treasured and loved when it does). It is about Love & Devotion to the cock in a very admirable way.

tumblr_m2076fzyhm1r9e9f9o1_500To love and worship a man’s cock & balls, through literally loving, tasting, smelling, to loving and needing to caress, lick, suck, nurse the cock, look at the cock admirably and touch the cock in a way to show our love, respect and lust for the cock. It is something that not only gives us such pleasure to serve the cock but it clearly so important to our man who will allow us to pleasure of it and takes us where we need to be with it.

Cock worshiping is attaching your sluthood to your other. It is declaring your lust for your Dom sexually by pointing out that their cock and balls are to be gloriously enjoyable for you to interact with. It is a strong statement that I am a complete slut for you and not something any old hard cock could ever do for my mouth, throat, hands, pussy, or arse.

While it is highly erotic and pleasurable to both, Dom and sub, it is not about sex. It has everything to do with a special unique bond between two unique beings. It is about being protective, nurturing, and providing unconditional love from Him to the sub, and to the one who is loved. It is about giving without expecting anything in return!!!!

Other Body Parts

02-standing-pussy-worship-knees-cunnilingus-lick-clitorisI would like to expand on this beyond cock worship. I must say that there are other body parts that can be worshiped. Not all Dominants are male, so Pussy worship should be mentioned. What can you do? The same things you would do for a cock, really. Appreciate, admire it, and touch it if the Dominant tells you to. Smell, admire, kiss, lick, maybe even groom it if instructed to. It all depends on your instructions as a sub/slave or pet.

Other body parts, can be worshiped, and the most common are

  • Ass worship
  • Foot worship

This means that according to how the Dominant requests, these body parts can be admired, touched, licked, sucked, pampered.

03c18e40b68f59e7a97f7ff3b2db0245It isn’t about sex; it is about showing your appreciation to the Dominant, and in specific to that body part presented for worship. Using foot worship as an example: The sub can lick the Dominant’s feet, kiss them, suck the toes. Then soak the Dominant’s feet in warm water, wash the feet, scrub, rinse and dry. After that they can admire, touch, kiss, apply lotion, rub the feet. This is all part of the special attention given to the feet.

It means focusing your love and attention to one particular part of the body at the moment.

What part of the body would you like to worship if given the opportunity?

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