Just Like Christmas! 🎁

A box arrived on my doorstep. I was expecting it. I brought it inside. I didn’t open it immediately. I just looked at it.

I phoned a friend of mine, Nya. I didn’t want to open the box alone.

I waited about 6 hours for Nya to arrive so we could open the box.

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It was my delivery from LoveHoney! Sex toys are no fun to open by yourself – especially this many! I wanted a friend to play with (not PLAY with just play with) when I opened all of these treasures.

giveaway ads 2The first ones we took out were the prizes for the National Masturbation Month Giveaway – I wouldn’t want to open them mistakenly.

Next, we opened and touched every toy remaining in the box – this was going to be exciting!

So, over the remainder of the month, I will be reviewing the toys from this box.

Shall we start, class?

Lovehoney Triple Tickler G-Spot Realistic Dildo Vibrator

triple tickler

GiGi

Price: $39.95

current deal:
available from LoveHoneylh-au-valentines-3-for-100-700x160

First Impressions

Oh… 😟 it kinda looks like a rabbit vibrator – without the protruding rabbit. Instead, it has a “trio” of nubs. If you watch the video at the bottom of the page, the presenter will tell you it’s realistic because of the veins and contoured head. Hmmm… I don’t know any cocks that look like this so I’m not sold on the realistic thing, either!

It has a vibrating shaft and nubs; where the hell is the triple part? The shaft is more bent than ‘normal’ vibrators – the box says this “targets your G-spot with expert precision.”

Okay…I’m still a little disappointed (I did open GiGi after the Magic Wand Mini (you’ll have to wait to see what I mean by that!)) but we’ll see…

How GiGi measures up

Length: 9 inches

Insertable Length: 5.5 inches

How GiGi feels

Gigi, in comparison to other vibrators of its type, is extremely flexible (“targets your G-spot with expert precision”). Made from a skin-safe rubber, GiGi can swim and dive (unsure about how far!) in the bath, shower or more exhibitionist-happy, wet places.

FYI: no latex

My Experience

It has been quite a while since I have had anything ‘up there,’ (I’m very much a clit chick) so I lubed up GiGi pretty well. Wow! I still LOVE that ‘filled-up’ feeling.

nubsI turned on the multi-speed controller (rather uncomfortably situated at the base of the vibrator) and felt the tickle – it was hitting the right places. I turned the speed up a tad – the tickle grew. However, the nubs didn’t really tickle my clit. I pushed GiGi in further – okay, that was better but still just a tickle.

I set GiGi to work at  her highest speed. I was getting there; I was getting there…but GiGi wasn’t going to be able to push me over into the abyss. I decided I needed to up the intensity on the nubs 💪 BUT you can’t do that with GiGi.

I leaned over on my side (ooh! that’s a little more like it but still not quite) and grabbed my Doxy. Doxy was placed against my clit and against GiGi (at a lower intensity than normal). Holy shit, Batman! Doxy pushed GiGi to new heights. Because GiGi’s curved head sits on your g-spot easily and comfortably, the extra power from the Doxy brought my first grunting orgasm very quickly (about 1 minute) after the build up from GiGi alone 👌. Then, turning Doxy down even further, I enjoyed the aftershocks.

PROs

CONs

  • hits the right spot
  • quiet
  • waterproof
  • battery operated (2 x AAs not included)
  • Built in – twist base controller (personally I find that annoying when in the throes of ecstasy)
  • not enough power

Final Thoughts

For the price, this is a pretty good toy. It would be great for some-one just starting out with toys. If you’ve been playing with a heavy-duty, plug-in wand, however, I don’t think this will do the trick…sorry 😞Tickler rating

My rating:

So, this is my first review of a sex toy – have I missed anything? Do you need to know more? Please let me know.

Please note: LoveHoney provided this item free of charge but, in no way, influenced this review.

 

DividerTo celebrate National Masturbation Month, I (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) am giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

Enter Here

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HOW TO BE A DOM: 12 simple-ish steps for Beginner Doms

Original post by Master James on Fetlife.

fetlifeYou may have only just found Fetlife (or not), you may have only just found your local Kink community, you may have only just had the epiphany that you are a Dom.

Suddenly, your life all makes sense. The penny has dropped and all the cogs in your head are turning, in what feels like the first time. Now you know you are dominant, you want to get on with the business actually being a Dominant. But where to start?

The following is nothing more than the opinion of one man. It is not designed to put anyone down, be condescending or negative. It is designed to empower, guide, and give a start point for men new to the concept of Dominance as a life choice and relationship role.

Step 1: Understand what a Dom is

238A Dom is someone who wishes to express dominance over someone’s life. A Top is someone who wishes to play a dominant role during a scene. People can be either or both. But understand that being a Dom is a huge responsibility, and your priorities need to be more noble than getting sexual gratification. It needs to be about helping, bettering, and protecting your Sub. It involves an enduring power exchange dynamic that brings fulfilment to all parties involved.

Step 2: Don’t believe the hype

Being a Dom is long, monotonous, frustrating, and fucking hard work. It isn’t being Christian Grey, it isn’t being a performer on Kink.com, it isn’t some teenage boy fantasy. Doms don’t have super powers over subs. Subs have brains and free will, and will tell you to fuck off and eat a dick regularly. No D/s relationship is as perfect and glossy as their Fetlife profile would lead you to believe.

Step 3: Don’t try and Dom the world

10057_300956466701105_1523037284_nIdentifying as a Dom doesn’t mean that every Sub will suddenly submit to you. In fact, most will only submit to their own D type. If a sub is generous and polite enough to call you Sir, don’t let it fool you into thinking you’re special. Don’t try to Dom the Dommes. At best they will kick you in the balls, at worst they will tell people what a dick you are, and it will ruin your reputation. In small kink communities, reputation and word of mouth rule supreme. Don’t assume that all women are subs at heart, and they just need to meet the right uber man to teach them their place.

Step 4: Don’t lie or exaggerate

Don’t claim to have 15 years experience when you’re 25. People can do maths. And the first time you had a naughty dream or touched a booby doesn’t count as the start of your training. If you’re 50, don’t try and bullshit us into believing that you have unlocked the secrets to the universe. Lying about your experience just undermines credibility and trust.

Step 5: Choose your heroes wisely

Just like I warned you against bullshitting; others will bullshit too. Don’t believe every claim you hear or read. If you do, you could be learning from some total douche, who has less real world experience than you. The kink work has no shortage of self-proclaimed prophets of uber domly dominance who are extremely proficient at talking the talk, but are utterly useless at walking the walk. Before you put someone on a pedestal, and treat every word they say as gospel, make sure your brain is still engaged. Use your common sense and display some discretion. On the flip side. There are some amazing teachers. I have a few amazing people I look to for guidance in roping. I have some incredibly experienced people I get advice from in regards to running BDSM scenes. And I get to be mentored by a man with the deepest understanding of D/s and M/s I have ever met.

Step 6: Be eager to learn

Leading a functional D/s relationship is hard and full of pitfalls. It’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes, rather than making them yourself. Likewise, being a safe and competent Top requires a lot of skill and knowledge. Being a Domly Dom doesn’t instantly make you awesome at everything. If you want to do rope, go and learn from those that can. If you want to do medical play, go and learn from those that can. There are countless experienced and knowledgable people who run workshops or regular courses in just about any kink related activity you can think of. Don’t be too proud to go and learn.

Step 7: Understand the limitations of your new skill or knowledge

Ever heard the saying that a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing? Well it’s true. Too many new Doms either think that they know everything already, or they think that one class makes them an expert. Likewise, the word “Dom” and the word “Egomaniac” are virtually synonyms. And too many Doms don’t want to admit to a sub that they don’t know something, aren’t an expert at something, and probably shouldn’t Top a particular type of play. They are worried the cute little sub girl will run off with a more proficient Top or Dom, and they’ll be left sitting there all alone, with nothing but their dick in their hand. If there is a type of play that I’m not good at, or not that into, and one of my subs wants to have a scene involving it; I’ll actively go and ask another Top or Dom who is great at it, if they are willing to run a scene with her. The end result is: The other Top or Dom gets to play with someone new, while doing what they love. My sub gets a safe, fulfilling experience. I get to watch and learn. And at the end, everyone thanks me, even though I did jack shit!

Step 8: Don’t try and be something you’re not

“Know thy self”…. “To thy own self be true”….. Familiar and wise sayings that the best of us struggle to follow. But the more honest you are with yourself, the more honest you will be with others, and the more honest they will be in return. I’m not a Sadist. It took me a while to realise and accept that. I once thought that as a Dom, I was expected be one. I’m not monogamous. I thought that there was something wrong with me. I was always conflicted and felt overwhelmed with shame and guilt. But if you’re trying to be something you’re not, then you’re lying to yourself. And you’re certainly not ready to take responsibility for someone’s submission.

Step 9: Examine yourself regularly

Time never stops, and people change. This includes Doms. We aren’t some a universal constant like one of Newtons Laws. You will change. This may include likes, dislikes, kinks, hard limits, methods of play, relationship needs, or orientation. Constant self analysis will keep you up to date with who you are, and give you the best data, with which to lead your D/s relationship. Likewise, the better you are at analysing yourself, the better you will be at analysing your Sub.

Step 10: Take your time

200D/s relationships are a marathon, not a sprint. All the rope, and wax, and flogging aside, there is a very real relationship that requires constant work. This might seem obvious, but it’s foundation is in one person dominating, and the other submitting to that dominance. This is expressed through control, and control is exhibited and reinforced by the introduction of rules and structure. This isn’t a quick and easy thing to introduce for either person. It starts off small and simple, and becomes more intricate and strict as new rules or protocols are introduced over time. Please take your time with this. If you try too much too soon, the D/s dynamic will implode. All your eagerness will be doing will be setting yourself for failure…. So take a deep breath; think and plan long term. And remember; patience is a virtue.

Step 11: Be forgiving of submissives

1044548_327811620682256_2051192474_nSubs are people; people fuck up. If you expect perfection, then you’re a fucking idiot. If you are going to dump people and throw them out like trash when they make mistakes, then you are not worthy of the title or role of a Dom. If you can’t accept and love all of a person, then you are a shallow twat, who needs to stop living in fantasy-land and grow up. I know of far too many amazing Subs, who have been cast aside like garbage for minor indiscretions, that the D type wouldn’t think twice of making himself. Sure, we want to correct mistakes and slowly iron them out of the lives of our subs. But please have realistic expectations.

Step 12: Be forgiving of yourself

Many Doms believe all the crap about always being right, that when they do fuck up, they don’t even know how to process that information. Not only that, but they have led their sub into a belief that their Dom can’t be wrong either. So suddenly it shatters their belief in their D type. Don’t fall into this trap. Try your best to be perfect, but expect to fall short on occasions. And when you do; forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on. The path you are on, is as much about bettering yourself, as it is about bettering your sub. Just do your best everyday to be the Dom that she deserves, and she will never have a reason to look anywhere else or ask for anything more in life.

Bonus Level= Don’t believe your ego

At some point, if you’re lucky, you’ll actually start to get ok with a lot of this stuff. You may start helping others, mentoring someone, teaching classes or workshops, or even writing “How to” guides on Fetlife…… You may experience success, fulfilment, and gain standing within the community as a good Dom and a community leader. People may write to you asking your advice. You may become a regular on K&P. Little sub girls might throw themselves at you, begging to suckle on your penis, so that they might feed on your domly dominance….. But whatever happens, don’t believe that any of it matters. Don’t believe that it makes you infallible, above reproach, or the new messiah of the Dom-domain. You are just a bloke, on a journey of discovery and fulfilment, that happens to have gotten lucky a few times along the way. So no matter what you do: Don’t start listening to your ego. It will be the end of it all if you let it take over. Because ego makes you focus on yourself, and your focus needs to be on those you love, cherish, care for, and protect.

v0OFhmjI hope this has been of help to some, and hasn’t pissed off the rest too much.

Peace, love, and Respect – Master James

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Exploding Orgasm Myths!

Ovember FB cover photo

It’s all about the big O, they say. An orgasm is the conclusion to a bout of sex, the be all and end all of everything in bed.

But is what you know about the big O really true, asks iDIVA:

1) If you can’t orgasm, you must be frigid.
“Only one-third of women experience orgasms during regular intercourse,” says Dr Dharika Satyen, a gynaecologist. Some women need extra stimulation to have an orgasm.

5_myths_orgasm_bustedOthers don’t even need to have sex for an orgasm. You need to figure out what your body likes and get your man to do that. An orgasm is an orgasm no matter how you get it.

2) Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms.
Clitoral orgasms are easier to achieve than vaginal orgasms. “It’s perfectly normal for women to experience difficulty and pain during vaginal orgasm,” says Dr Satyen. On the other hand, more women achieve orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris.

3) Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves.
Sex feels good whether or not you have an orgasm. True, an orgasm is the pinnacle of pleasure. But when combined with the right level of intimacy, the journey can be as satisfying as the destination. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex.

4) It’s more difficult for women to reach an orgasm than men.
Women take longer than men to reach the optimum level of arousal, but the prime time for an orgasm is almost the same for men and women. That’s why you have to warm her up.

5) A woman needs a skillful partner to orgasm.
Being great lovers is a matter of pride for men. While their efforts help, an orgasm ultimately depends on your own body. You need to tell him what to do to make yourself feel better. Women also suffer from performance anxiety. So your inability to orgasm may be more about you than him.

An orgasm is pleasurable and important. But don’t let the lack of one disrupt your sexual life. Experiment and learn to do new things. Maybe, a new position or a new way of stimulation is all you need.

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So What Makes a Good #submissive?

Hmmm…full moon last night and a slightly flat show…pity! That would be one you might not rush to listen to the podcast. But I did realise that, despite being around and in ‘The Scene’ for the last 2 years, I am still unlearned in many ways. For all intensive purposes, I remain a ‘newbie’ submissive.

So what makes a good submissive?

Ballsy Billy (from mastererotica60) proffered this:

What makes a good submissive? What marks a submissive from a player or wannabe?  What follows is a compiled list of traits. Listed are the ones that seemed to be desired by a majority of dominants. I feel that almost all of these traits are what makes a good person not just a successful submissive.

Many of these things intertwine with each other. These are some personal beliefs of what makes a good submissive as well as a good person.  You may or may not agree!?  Most of these can be applied to any relationship, not just those within BDSM. I list them in alphabetical order for ease of reading.

059.HR 1Acceptance:

This is the ability to see and accept yourself for who and what you are, be they your good points or your bad ones. This includes knowing your limitations yet keeping the thought that things can change and knowing you will change as well. This is the ability to let yourself be who you are, to take pride and pleasure in the person you are, and not lose that acceptance because someone said you are not what you know you are.

Communication:

This is the ability to talk openly and honestly about what is in your heart and mind, your opinions and beliefs, your needs vs. your wants, your responses or reactions, basically to be able to talk about everything. This ability also calls into play the honesty of the submissive and the dominant. Once open communication has been established it should remain that way and will do so provided the submissive does not stop communicating honestly. To not communicate is to endanger yourself physically (as well as emotionally). Communication need not always be verbal. Just so long as what you need to say to your partner, gets said to them, then the lines of communication stay open. For example, you may find a particular topic easier to write about in your journal and thus “tell” your partner that way. This is still communicating.

063.HR 2Courtesy (aka Manners):

This one is fairly self explanatory but many people have asked me for specifics on courtesy. Since the specifics of this one vary with each relationship, I will only address general manners. It is the ability to show proper courtesy by using please and thank you, addressing people with general respect and courtesy.

Grace:

This is another whose specifics vary with each relationship, but is basically the ability to not appear stilted or halting in your movements. I’m not sure this one is of major importance to many people, but I list it here anyway as it has come up frequently. Of course this may be affected by physical limitations that will reduce its importance.

Growth:

The ability to grow within yourself, look for and attain new goals. Be these mental, emotional or physical goals. The ability to continue to grow and sharpen your abilities is very important as it prevents the relationship from stagnating helps you to grow as a submissive and thus discover new ways to please or serve your dominant.

Honesty:

Personally I feel this shouldn’t need to be said, but there are far too many people who lack honesty so it has to be said. Honesty is the ability to speak up, be open and truthful about what you say. Don’t hide your emotions, fears, limits, fantasies, ideas and thoughts. Don’t tell the dominant what you think he/she wants to hear. A successful submissive is an honest person, one who does not lie, deceive, or intentionally manipulate. Honesty builds trust. Trust is the basis of a relationship. To lie, breaks down the trust and therefore the relationship by removing it’s very foundation.

089. 140915 1900Humility:

This is basically the ability to see yourself as fallible. A successful submissive knows they will make mistakes; that they are not perfect. A successful submissive admits his/her mistakes, and strives to correct them. Giving off an attitude of being better than anyone else, is not a desired trait. Having a sense of pride is good, but humility is necessary to prevent one from being arrogant.

Intelligence:

By intelligence I don’t mean book smart, the ability to do long involved mathematical equations or pull apart and rebuild a computer. As it applies to a successful submissive intelligence is the ability to think for themselves. The ability to make informed decisions about who to submit to and just how far their submission goes. The ability to take the time to learn their partner outside the roles of dominant and submissive, to learn them as the person they are, their likes and dislikes. The ability to learn what pleases their dominant and remembers those things.

Loyalty:

This is a very important trait in a submissive. It is the ability to uphold your dominants rules over anyone else. A successful submissive will not act in a manner that will raise doubts about his/her commitment to their dominant. It is upholding your end of the agreement made with your partner to the best of your abilities. This can also mean standing by your partner when difficulties arise. This tends to come hand in hand with commitment and both are necessary for a long term relationship to survive.

098. 170915 1330Obedience:

This is exactly what is in everyday life, the ability to do what you are told. Within a power exchange relationship this means willingly following the terms of your dominant and doing what you are told. Willing obedience is pleasing to the submissive as well as the dominant. This can directly relate to the person’s submissiveness. A submissive does not obey because they fear their dominant, they obey because they have an intense need to please the dominant. This does not mean blind obedience (never question anything). Specifics regarding obedience do vary with each relationship, but obeying one’s dominant is part of a power exchange relationship and is expected.

Open Mind:

This is the ability to view things with as little preset prejudice as possible. To maintain the ability to learn new things and be open to trying something new or different. It directly compliments Growth.

Patience:

That is the ability to wait for things. Being pushy is aggravating. This does not mean to push your most urgent needs aside, but to learn the difference between what a necessity is and what is not and to convey these things to the dominant.

Pride: (self-respect, self-esteem)

This does not mean be arrogant, just the knowledge of your ability. Having a sense of pride in your abilities shows that you have a healthy sense of self-esteem and your whole identity does not rely on another’s point of view. A good submissive values themselves and respects their own limits. A solid sense of self-esteem is a necessity for a submissive or they can become co-dependent upon the dominant, relying on the dominant for their own mental picture of themselves. Humility is part of this as well.

Respect:

The ability to show respect through one’s tone of voice, manners and general attitude. A sub must respect their Dom (unless it is destroyed) and be respectful to others. This goes along with manners. Showing respect to one’s dominant should be at all times, and not just when the submissive feels like it. Yes, we have arguments in these relationships, but a submissive should strive to maintain a respectful demeanor even during such times.

Service:

Willingly completing tasks (sexual or otherwise) set for you by your dominant. As well to apply your observations to the things you do to please your dominant. Service usually points to those things outside of sexual ones and play (sessions). Such things as housework, cooking, and other things designed to make the home of the dominant more pleasing to him/her. Service can include tasks set for you by the dominant which do not fall under household chores. Perhaps the household budgeting is one task the dominant sets upon you, cooking his/her favorite meal, and many other things can be service. Basically anything done with the direct intent to please the dominant in some manner can be seen as service.

130Submissiveness:

This can be taught or an inherent personality trait. This is the need to please others and by doing so pleasing yourself. As well, it is the ability to give in (so to speak) to another’s control and feel content doing so. Submissiveness as a learned behavior does occur in bdsm relationships. This usually happens as the submissive gains experience and thus grows in their submission. However, if a person has to learn to submit against their natural inclinations not to, then submission is probably not for them.

Trust:

A submissive must be able to trust themselves, the choices they make and be able to trust others. An overly wary or closed submissive, will have a more difficult time attaining a good relationship with a dominant. Being able to trust your instincts is necessary for a submissive, especially when looking for a dominant because your instincts will often tell.

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The #Double Penetration Dream

As you might remember, I have insatiable (at the moment) fantasies about multiple penetration. I found this article on Swingers.org: time for a share…

spooning DP

Positive Effects of Double Penetration

Many couples are looking to spice things up a bit in the bedroom and every man and woman have some kind of fantasy that they want to act out. Double penetration is one of those fantasies and it can either be a woman’s or a man’s fantasy. In order to properly do double penetration all of the participants should be on board with the act. You don’t want someone to do something that they don’t want to do or that will be rape. Double penetration can happen in a few different ways. One is where two men are involved and the woman is penetrated vaginally and anally, or the mouth can be used as well, or a sex toy can be used if there is only one man.

Doggy style DP

It is fun to try new things but it can be scary to try this kind of act, so you want to go slow with it and maybe even work your way up to it. In recent studies it has been shown that more woman are becoming more adventurous with their sex lives and more women are even trying taboo things like anal sex more than what they did before. Many have also found out that women can reach orgasm during anal sex, which makes it more appealing to them. So basically if a woman knows that they can orgasm from having anal sex then they are more willing to at least try it.

Studies have also shown that women that have tried double penetration are more likely to have a vaginal orgasm than ones that are just having intercourse vaginally. And when you are the woman in the double penetration, you get all of the attention, unlike other threesomes with another woman. There is a good chance that you can have an orgasm anally and vaginally with is double the fun for woman and the men of the group.

Once all of the people that are participating in double penetration agree on all of the ground rules, then they can do it. You have to kind of prepare for something like this especially if you are a woman. And you have to make sure to use enough lubricating so it doesn’t hurt. Nothing can turn a woman off faster when trying something new if it is painful to her. All of the stereotypes of only porn stars doing things like double penetration have gone away because couples are more adventurous today than they were years ago.

Interested in DP? Try some sexy stories from real members of Swinglifestyle like:

Valentines Double Penetration & Wifes First Double Penetration

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