It’s National Masturbation Month!

 

manual mayHow are you Celebrating Masturbation Month?

So maybe every month is Masturbation Month for some of us – but May is the time to absolutely celebrate the act.

Though it is now an international holiday and well celebrated here in Australia, Masturbation Month originally took off in America.

Imagine that it’s 1994, and your country is a little neurotic when it comes to its own solo-playing tendencies. So uptight that its own surgeon general, Dr. Joycelyn Elders, gets fired by President Clinton for suggesting that masturbation be mentioned in sex-ed classes.

As it so happened, a sensible sex toy shop in San Francisco was paying attention, and they didn’t like what they were seeing. So in May 1995, Good Vibrations declared the inaugural National Masturbation Month as a way to promote sex positivity, sexual health, and self-love.

“We were astounded,” say the folks at Good Vibrations on their website. “It was one of the most sensible things we’d ever heard a government official say – and it cost Elders her job! We started National Masturbation Month – now International Masturbation Month with people celebrating across the globe! – to raise awareness and to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: It’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s free, it’s pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses.”

COUPLEStimulation celebrations

Since its inception, Masturbation Month has proven to be a rather satisfying endeavour. Good Vibrations and its cohorts have been using the occasion as a way to promote masturbation as a means to better and safer sex.

In 1999, the Masturbate-a-Thon wanked itself into being: a literal fapping-for-charity event. Participants would self-pleasure to raise money for women’s health and HIV charities, as well as to take a whack at all the existing shame and cultural baggage surrounding masturbation. Special recognition has often gone to those who could either raise the most money or, ahem, perform exceptionally well.

This is precisely where the phrase “Come for a Cause” originated, and it quickly spread to other sex-positive toy shops around the world. London held the first “Wank-a-Thon” in Europe in 2006, and Montreal joined the party in 2013.

Clearly this had farther-reaching effects than encouraging highly publicised bouts of exhibitionism. In 2009, the UK joined other European governments in promoting daily masturbation among teenagers as a means to reduce STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Though most Masturbate-a-Thons involved private acts of self-love, Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen recalls a few especially colourful moments from the public events. Of particular note, she told Salon, was one man who jerked off for nine hours and 58 minutes.

“Oh, and the friend of a friend who brought his violin along and played lovely music for the masturbators, sans pants,” she told the news source. “Classical music just gives masturbation so much more gravitas! We had opera singers one time, too.”

How to observe the holiday

Aside from masturbating with a renewed sense of political and social purpose, what are some other ways we can do justice to this month of self love and self exploration?

Taboo Radio (in conjunction with Lovehoney Australia) are giving away one Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator (valued at $109.95) and one Lovehoney Sqweel XT for Men USB Rechargeable Oral Sex Simulator (values at $99.95).

Enter Here

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We will also be posting (probably, too much) information about bashing the candle, bleeding the weasel, bleedin’ the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin’ the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin’ the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker and yanking the crank, all month.

How will you celebrate Masturbation Month?

 

 

 

#LikeAGirl

Last week, I caught myself from saying ‘you’re throwing like a girl’ to my 5 year old nephew. It felt wrong to even contemplate saying it (although he does throw like what has previously and commonly referred as such).

Our beliefs about male and female relationships are learned, and can be passed onto the next generation.

Playing with my nephew allowed me a moment of honest self-reflection. It is these seemingly harmless phrases we say in front of young people that can be interpreted in ways we don’t intend.

The week before, I had posted this meme:

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I thought nothing of it. When I was a kid (I suppose I was under 10 at the time), we played kiss chase-y: both boys and girls hit each other when they liked some-one (as well as planting a kiss on that person). There was nothing in my mind that linked this meme to any kind of sexism or abuse. I meant it to be very tongue-in-cheek and sassy. I considered the audience for whom it was published. I never thought that it would be taken any other way.

I was wrong.

I can see why some people were upset; and, you should speak up when someone says or does something that excuses disrespect towards women.

Taboo Radio likes to take the piss out of themselves, sex and kink. We try not to take anything too seriously –Yes, sometimes it may be offensive (so scroll on); but we presume that our audience is on the same wavelength.

Taboo Radio wants you to keep commenting (good or bad) on the things we post. In this case, it’s really given me something to reflect upon. After all, as one woman points out in one of the videos, “I am a girl and that is not something that I should be ashamed of.”

Body Worship

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Listen Here

 The following article, written by Sam on Whips, Chains & Duct Tape, gives you a very useful run-down. Taboo Radio also did a show about Body Worship last year, if you’d like to know more.

What is Cock Worship?

Quite simply it is a way more then just a blow job. It is NOT about getting a Dom’s cock hard, or even making the cock release…(but is very much treasured and loved when it does). It is about Love & Devotion to the cock in a very admirable way.

tumblr_m2076fzyhm1r9e9f9o1_500To love and worship a man’s cock & balls, through literally loving, tasting, smelling, to loving and needing to caress, lick, suck, nurse the cock, look at the cock admirably and touch the cock in a way to show our love, respect and lust for the cock. It is something that not only gives us such pleasure to serve the cock but it clearly so important to our man who will allow us to pleasure of it and takes us where we need to be with it.

Cock worshiping is attaching your sluthood to your other. It is declaring your lust for your Dom sexually by pointing out that their cock and balls are to be gloriously enjoyable for you to interact with. It is a strong statement that I am a complete slut for you and not something any old hard cock could ever do for my mouth, throat, hands, pussy, or arse.

While it is highly erotic and pleasurable to both, Dom and sub, it is not about sex. It has everything to do with a special unique bond between two unique beings. It is about being protective, nurturing, and providing unconditional love from Him to the sub, and to the one who is loved. It is about giving without expecting anything in return!!!!

Other Body Parts

02-standing-pussy-worship-knees-cunnilingus-lick-clitorisI would like to expand on this beyond cock worship. I must say that there are other body parts that can be worshiped. Not all Dominants are male, so Pussy worship should be mentioned. What can you do? The same things you would do for a cock, really. Appreciate, admire it, and touch it if the Dominant tells you to. Smell, admire, kiss, lick, maybe even groom it if instructed to. It all depends on your instructions as a sub/slave or pet.

Other body parts, can be worshiped, and the most common are

  • Ass worship
  • Foot worship

This means that according to how the Dominant requests, these body parts can be admired, touched, licked, sucked, pampered.

03c18e40b68f59e7a97f7ff3b2db0245It isn’t about sex; it is about showing your appreciation to the Dominant, and in specific to that body part presented for worship. Using foot worship as an example: The sub can lick the Dominant’s feet, kiss them, suck the toes. Then soak the Dominant’s feet in warm water, wash the feet, scrub, rinse and dry. After that they can admire, touch, kiss, apply lotion, rub the feet. This is all part of the special attention given to the feet.

It means focusing your love and attention to one particular part of the body at the moment.

What part of the body would you like to worship if given the opportunity?

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Beginner Bondage Basics

This is a wonderful refresher/basics article that I found on Whips, Chains & Duct Tape. It’s original author is unknown.

Safety First

 

safety-reminder-signs-industrial-23398bbhplyalu-baLike any other sport or hobby, bondage is best practiced with an awareness of safety. If the game is played right, every participant wins!

In all sports, there is the possibility of accidents, so here are some recommended “don’ts” for bondage.

  • Don’t play when you’re not alert.
  • Don’t play when tired or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  • Don’t try things you aren’t sure about.
  • The front of the neck should never receive pressure of any kind .
  • Don’t leave a bondaged person alone.

The Two Ways limbs “fall asleep”

Circulation

Poorly done bondage, particularly at the wrists or ankles, will inhibit circulation. The submissive will feel numbness or slight tingling. Sometimes it will feel uncomfortable, sometimes not. Temporary inhibition of circulation is not a problem unless the submissive is feeling pain. Ask the submissive whether they want the bondage adjusted or removed. Their decision is law.

Nerve endings

If bondage is pinching nerve paths, the submissive will feel shooting pains or focused pain. Never interfere with nerve paths. If the submissive believes the bondage is blocking a nerve path, remove the bondage immediately.

Binding the wrists behind the back pulls breathing muscles taut. For submissive’s lacking flexibility, the reduced supply of oxygen can cause headaches or fainting. Be alert to the submissive’s physical limitations and reactions.

time_travelTime Limits

Healthy participants can enjoy a position for about an hour. If you’re not in prime health, try about 20 minutes to a half hour for any given position. If you’re trying something new, limit the first exposure to 15 minutes.

To prolong your bondage sessions, vary hand placement, for example, start with hands behind the back, then after a half hour, switch to a hands front position, etc.

safe-wordSafewords

A “Safeword”is a word, sound or action that is used to communicate during a scene. If you are not playing “roles” during a scene, you can just tell each other when you want something, but if you’re gagged or “in role,” communication can be more difficult.

Common Safewords are “red,” “mercy,” the word” safeword,” or humming a specific tune. Safeword actions can be things like snapping your fingers, raising your foot, or dropping car keys from your hand.

Quick Release

You will need safety scissors when doing bondage. Designed for removing bandages, the scissors have a flat outer side to protect skin when cutting binds. These are perfect for completing saran wrap scenes.

If you use thick bondage equipment such as leather or fat ropes, keep industrial scissors or EMT scissors on hand too.

Extended Bondage

Many people have seen pictures or films of bondage and read about bondage and even experienced bondage. But have you ever been restrained or thought about being restrained for a very long time for hours perhaps?

There are few things to consider:

Positionpb

You can’t hold a strenuous position hour after hour no matter what it looked like in some BDSM porn video. You’ve got to make sure that the position is one that you can hold for a long time without pulling a muscle or ligament or worse. So 24 hours in suspension is a myth. You just can’t do that without ending up with dislocated shoulders or much, much worse.

Safety

Even though you may intend for this bondage to go on all day or all night, you’ve got to be prepared to get the submissive out of this bondage in an instant if something goes wrong.
(For example imagine your submissive having a seizure while in bondage and imagine for a moment how fast you’ll want them released). It should go without saying that you don’t leave someone in bondage unattended but in case this hasn’t occurred to you, DON’T LEAVE SOMEONE IN BONDAGE UNATTENDED!

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What are you going to use? Cuffs? Ropes? Harness? You’ve got to think long term here. What will avoid chafing or injury to the sensitive tissues? If you’re experienced with rope, you might be able to use it for this kind of bondage; if not, think padded cuffs such as medical Posey Restraints with sheepskin padding. This is what hospitals use to restrain patients long term.

Circulation

In short bondage scenes, circulation is still important but not nearly as critical as it is in a long duration scene. You’ve got to make sure that circulation isn’t cutoff. If you cut off circulation to a limb for several hours, the limb will first get nerve damage and then ultimately gangrene can set in and you may be looking at an amputated limb. You have to make sure that circulation is something you keep constant attention on!

Bathroom Breaks

In a 2 hour scene where you’re going to do 5 or 10 different things, this is no
big deal. But,if you’re talking hours, how will you deal with her (or him) having to get to the toilet? Not figuring this out in advance makes for a messy scene possibly on the very bed you’d been thinking about sleeping on. Long duration bondage can be a huge turn on and is a potentially exciting aspect of play. The mind plays games with itself when it’s got no other stimulus, so this can result in an intense session for both dominant and submissive even though there might not be as many “intense” moments per hour as there are in other scenes. The mind effect is cumulative, but you’ve got to think ahead if you’re the dominant and plan out what will happen so you can ensure everyone’s safety.

How to Establish a Safety Word for Bondage

  • traffic-lights-signEstablish a red, yellow and green system. Like a traffic signal saying red means stop immediately, yellow means to pause to check in with each other and green means you’re okay and it’s safe to proceed. Use these words in whatever way works for you and your partner, as long as you both know what action each word should provoke.
  • Come out of character during role play and use your partner’s real name. Instead of saying “Mistress” or calling your partner “Doctor Dominant,” for example, you simply say his or her real name and they will know to stop and untie you immediately.
  • Establish a visual signal when verbal words aren’t possible. If you are gagging your submissive or otherwise obstructing the ability to speak, have him or her hold something during bondage and drop it if they need to stop the scene.
  • Make up a word or phrase that only you and your partner know. Use it for a safety word and agree to stop the scene immediately if your submissive utters it. Then check with him or her to find out what went wrong and if
    they want to continue the scene or end it for the night.
  • Use a weird word or one that you most likely would not use during sex. A word like “aardvark” or the name of your town is not something you normally yell at the peak of ecstasy. Choose something you don’t say everyday and make its meaning during bondage clear.

Tips &Warnings

  • When one is thinking of binding a partner, you need to be very aware of the position you want to put your partner into. Standing, kneeling, suspended and complex bondage becomes very uncomfortable, causing the person to fatigue very quickly. If you are thinking of doing any of these, watch the time, as 15-20 minutes is the maximum a person’s body can tolerate in an uncomfortable position.
  • Bearing in mind that when any part of the body is overhead (i.e. arms spread eagled above the head, legs raised higher than rest of the body)the limbs lose feeling very quickly, due to lack of blood circulation. Ask your partner constantly whether that tingly feeling has started. Once it starts, you need to move them into another position.
  • Also keep in mind that body temperatures drop drastically, when one is immobile. Please pay special attention to keeping your bound partner warm.
  • ribbon tortureBear in mind that any material made out of a synthetic fiber (i.e. silk scarves, nylon stockings and the like) are very dangerous to use in bondage. The first reason being that they pull tight, making it almost impossible to release the bondage in a hurry. You generally have to cut it lose. Secondly, when pulled tight, the bondage starts to pinch the skin, cutting of circulation. The best bondage materials to use are leather (i.e. belts, cuffs) and cotton rope.
  • Please don’t buy the gimmicky handcuffs found in most adult shops. They do not have a “double lock”, which means that they tend to get tighter and tighter through movement. The best kinds of handcuffs to buy are the real police handcuffs, which have a double locking system. These can be found almost anywhere.
  • Do not leave a restrained person alone for any reason.
  • If you use a gag on the submissive your responsibility for observing increases. Remember, that the risk also always increases with a gag and make sure your submissive can breathe properly through their nose.
  • Another general rule is that you should be able to free abound person within one minute of an emergency occurs, even if they have fainted. Wise BDSM players keep special “paramedic scissors” or similar items handy to help with this.
  • During bondage scenes it is the duty of the dominant to take care of the submissive. It’s your responsibility to watch for any breathing problems or signs of circulation problems. Watch not only for lack of breathing but hyperventilation.
  • Practice tying and untying the knots you are going to use and never use rope of a smaller diameter than 0.5cm or thicker than 0.7cm on the body.
  • Never obstruct the throat with a rope by crossing a rope across the front of the neck. Figure out how to make the rope cross on the backside of the neck. Never tie a rope around the neck.
  • Take care in the amount of strain on joints (wrists, knees, back, neck, elbows, shoulders, etc.)
  • There is never any need to tie some part of your partner’s body so tightly that it “goes to sleep.” Watch out for constriction of nerves and blood vessels. Watch for signs of tingling, numbness, abnormal color, or coldness in extremities. If any of these symptoms occur, loosen the bondage immediately.
  • Check the ropes as you are tying for tightness. Always leave it loose enough to get one finger between the rope and the submissive’s skin. Check ropes often to insure they don’t tighten because of body swelling or twisting.06gyc28xqg64mhschiiv
  • Communicate with the bound submissive from time to time to ensure he/ she is okay. Use a safe signal to allow him/ her to alert you of a problem.
  • With more coils of rope used around the body or extremities there is less chance of cutting off circulation because there is more surface area used.
  • Avoid relying solely on safe words for communication. A safety word is no substitute for responsible BDSM play. Knowing your partner and his or her facial expressions, physical limitations and tolerances for pain and being bound is more effective than any safe word. Pay attention to each other and combine caring with safety words to ensure a safe and fulfilling time together.
  • Bondage creates dangerous vulnerability. It is recommended that you let someone tie you up, blindfold you, or gag you only after you have first done at least two successful BDSM scenes with them that involved no bondage.

This is how you clean me…

There is always the possibility that bodily fluids will be transferred onto your ropes. Your ropes therefore should be thoroughly disinfected after each and every “play” session to avoid the transfer of AIDS and Hepatitis. You should also try and avoid using your rope on more than one person at a time.

The best way to clean your rope is to place them in a pillow slip, tie an elastic band around the entrance of the pillow slip so that your rope can’t fall out. Place this pillow slip in your washing machine (along with the necessary washing detergent), and machine wash at 30 degrees Celsius. To make your ropes softer for the skin, add a little fabric softner to the wash load. Once the wash cycle is complete, hang your rope indirect sunlight to air dry.

Have fun! Play safe

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BDSM Revisited: Detours and Debris

As I have said before (and will say again), I am no expert so I rely on others to teach, coach and write. Sometimes I find wonderful things to share (and sometimes I don’t – you know that’s happening when there are long, long breaks between posts!)

That said, I was directed to A Firm Grip and this article (reminiscent of Marquis De JJ’s rants):

BDSM Revisited: Detours & Debris

The trend these days in BDSM seems to be as Noel Coward sang “Anything Goes” except, of course, when it doesn’t.  Part of this confusion seems to stem from the migration into the lifestyle of vanillas with its never-changing cast of characters: control freak jerks, players, trolls, drama queens, perpetual virgins, well, you get the picture.

We see guys getting “into the scene” because they have gotten the misinformation that submissives never say no to sex, are easy to manipulate, and as “Doms” or “Masters” they can get away with really bad behavior.  We see women getting into it because they have the mistaken idea that all Doms/Masters are sex gods, will tell them exactly what they ought to be doing, will take care of their every need, and are some kind of superior man to spice up their (mostly non-existent) sex lives.  Sorry to disabuse you, if that’s what you believe, but it’s hardly the truth.

242There is room in the community of BDSM to include a wide variety of folk, this  is true.  From those who just want to play or scene to those who want a fulfilling relationship with someone who complements their particular set of kinks:  Sadists with Masochists, dominants with submissives,  complementive fetishists.   However, some traditionalists resent the incursion of newbies who are essentially clueless, just looking for easy sex,  and basing their expectations and practices on nothing more than fantasies and pornographic fakery.

Like cultists who rush from one to the next when disappointment settles in and the truth be known, it is likely many of these new sojourners will drop away from BDSM practices whenever burnout strikes, yesterday, today, or some tomorrow.  To them BDSM will be merely another detour on their life path, a sideroad that goes no further than the dead end sign, and they’ll back up and head back to Vanilla Highway 101.  Unfortunately, they may carry with them (as failed conservatives or liberals often do) the “understanding” that it was all a lie to begin with.  Perhaps to them specifically, it was, indeed, a lie, but they were lying to themselves or their motivations were false.

238BDSM is not about easy sex, not about being excited by whips and chains only when nothing else works, not about being a chauvinist asshole nor a whining victim.   But, in future, we may experience meeting up with people for whom that opinion is their guiding factor.  The “Dom”, for example, who because of his personality (not his inexperience) still cannot “get laid” will, just as in Vanilla Land, think the women involved are bitches, frigid, or lesbians.  The “sub” whose fantasy was never fulfilled, just as it wasn’t in her vanilla life, will continue to think all men are jerks, assholes, and players.  It may even seem ironic, to those of us outside this paradigm, that such false Doms and subs often wind up with experience only with each other, not with people actually in the BDSM lifestyle.

So, let’s consider what the difference is, in terms of motivation and expectation.   Are you involved or getting involved in BDSM because you must for genuine and sincere fulfillment?   Have you explored the pros and cons and find the pros win every time?  Do you base your relationship expectations on the long-term, always learning and growing, and changing emotional, mental, and physical needs you consistently experience?  Do you realize that while it may be healthy and satisfying to have fantasies, they don’t always have to made manifest in the real world?  Do you know, as a submissive, the difference between being pushed/shoved and being led?  Are you aware, as a Dominant, that respect, compromise, and responsibility are part of the relationship dynamic?

Here’s a little technique that can help.  Sit down and make a list of what you expect from a BDSM or D/s relationship.  A real list of practical attributes, not fantasies.   If you expect your potential Dominant to be a knight on a white horse to slay your dragons of doubt, shyness, self-recrimination, previous mental, physical, or emotional abuse – cross that off your list.  You have to be, as a submissive, your own knight.  The Dominant can only help keep your armor intact and hand you the right sword.

270If you’re the Dominant, your list shouldn’t include items like “Sex whenever and however I want it”, “The right to do whatever I want with no responsibility”, nor “Someone I can order around like some inferior and low creature”.  But it might include things like “Taking responsible care of another person”, “Providing a stable, dependable basis for respect and mutual pleasure”, and “Being a leader, a guide, a mentor, and a lover”.

Another thing, an observation that continues to appear in conversations about the relationship dynamics.   In a D/s relationship, particularly, it is the relationship that controls and is the power between the participants.  The Dominant is given power to make choices and decisions, the submissive surrenders power to do so – but the real controller is the dynamic of the relationship itself.  And that’s a good thing to know and accept.

244Oh, and try not to take the detours, but make your own path.  And step over or around any debris you find strewn there.  Someone else has already thrown it away.

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Stroke It

Women are paying strangers to touch their vaginas in a bid to improve their sex lives and achieve better orgasms.

Orgasmic meditation (OM) practitioners are holding group masturbation classes to teach women how to climax, promising that the lessons can lead to a “larger state of consciousness, improving intimacy in relationships and generally increasing your orgasm skills”.

During a typical orgasmic meditation class, the woman undresses from the waist down while a total stranger strokes her clitoris for 15 minutes.

But before the fully-clothed stroker starts to massage their partner’s downstairs with the help of organic lube, they describe the vagina they are looking at, going into detail about the colour, texture and shape.

OM participants do the stroking in front of other group members in what’s called a “nest”.

While the session might sound rather sexual there’s apparently “no goal other than to feel, connect and be present”.

It may sound like a bizarre and seedy sex cult, but it’s popularity has been snowballing since it was founded in 2001.

There’s over 10,000 practitioners worldwide and 2,000 already in the UK, attracting a mixed clientele – anything from couples in their early 20s to people in their 80s.

Wow! So what do you think… do you need therapy? 

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I Paid an Expert to Massage my Vagina

yoni-massage-therapy

IT’S taken me about two years to say ‘yes’ to receiving a yoni massage from a professional, and honestly I still can’t actually believe I just paid an expert (a professional Tantric practitioner) to come into my room and ‘massage’ my vagina.

Hold on, keep calm, let me explain. I am a sexologist, so aside from the deep interest in this form of healing, I also feel it’s my duty to explore these alternative therapies so that I can report back to you.

So here it goes, I suggest grabbing yourself a cosy seat, a cup of tea (or some red wine…), this is some serious and sensual business.

62f9b499170d2ccc9323bb69703efc6dFirst things first, yoni is the Sanskrit word for sacred cave/vagina. Yoni Massage, similar to a massage anywhere else in the body, releases tension. However because the yoni is one of the most intimate and powerful parts of the body it’s important that the massage follows certain guidelines — a ritual if you will.

Yoni massage is profound work. A Tantric tradition studied deeply and thoroughly. Professional practitioners should have years of experience and have studied with reputable organisations. A person interested in yoni massage should get a recommendation from someone who has received one, first hand. Do not go blindly into a consultation.

A few other important factors that make a yoni massage different from sex:

  • No sex! The massage therapist is only there to give to the recipient. It is all about the person receiving the massage (it is rare for women to purely receive).
  • There’s a strong focus on healing and holding space for whatever emotions come up so these can be felt and experienced.
  • The intention of the massage is for healing, awakening and transformation.
  • Clear intentions for both the receiver and the giver.
  • Clear communication about boundaries and sensation.
  • The space is set up as sacred.

So, I convinced myself that having this massage was the right thing for me to do for many reasons; as a society we’ve been suppressing the power of women’s sexuality for a long time. No more, I say.

It’s important that we heal and shift the traumas and experiences stored in our yonis, so we can make way for the flow of creativity and confidence.

The night before the massage I dreamt that we had started the yoni experience and got interrupted by an intense ocean storm. So I woke up feeling like I needed to have it.

So, finally there I was, opening my door (literally and metaphorically) to Tantric practitioner Mangala Holland from Mystic Sex.

Mangala set up the room, with a few candles and some sheets on the bed.

We talked about my intentions, anything I thought was blocking my sexuality, where I thought I needed healing (in what areas of my life), how my orgasms were or were not.

Then we did an undressing ritual. I took an item of clothing off and with each piece I dropped to the floor I said out loud something I wanted to let go of.

We then meditated together.

The massage always starts with a full-body oil massage. There is no touching of the genitalia until you are fully relaxed.

Then we had an intermission if you will. A toilet break, a little visit to the snack bar (kidding). When I came back from the bathroom, we changed positions and she sat between my legs, while I wrapped them around her.

Mangala then asked if she could touch my yoni (externally). I agreed.

Then after some external massage she asked permission to enter my yoni or something similar. I agreed.

From here Mangala used certain techniques to stimulate and massage my yoni, she felt for tension like any other trained massage therapist and from there with my full permission she worked into these areas, asking me to breath and make sound accordingly.

For a lot women big change and liberation lies in connecting to breath and sound. We hold back so much in our day to day lives that just this as part of the ritual is transforming. For me, I practice making sound as much as I can throughout the day. And even still I found myself not fully able to let go.

At times, I felt sad, at times I felt orgasmic energy through my whole body, at times my whole arms went numb, at times I felt like I was meditating.

The people who I’ve told, generally want to know if I had some mind-blowing orgasm.

This practice for me ended up being one that was quite Tantric; essentially I worked on bringing the orgasmic energy up through my body, to revitalise my energetic body (my chakras) and to connect to my heart.

Afterwards I felt reassured. I felt like I understood my body, my vagina and my sexual fingerprint more than ever (I know too that the growth won’t stop here) and there were points where I know I could of let go more … maybe in the future.

The following day after the massage, I felt emotional. All day. I even felt weird about the experience. The whole experience seemed quite unbelievable and surreal.

I think this work is really important. I think there is a special type of person that can offer this work and hold this space. I think we all deserve to feel pleasure and that we need to also teach our youth about the value of pleasure and self-respect.

We’ve got a long way to go, but times are changing and we know that the change starts with the self.

Thoughts? Would you be up for a little yoni massasge? 

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